Showing posts with label this our year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label this our year. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Will 2015 be our year?

As each year ends, and a new year begins, the same thought always crosses my mind...

Will this be our year?

I have no idea if it will be or not.  All I know is it's Jan 2015... and I really hope, pray and hope some more than we can achieve some goals this year to have a family of our own.  I'm 35 years old.  I love what I do for a career, I love my husband and our life.  I feel so empty inside!

Am I going to be 40 years old, with no child of my own?  Am I ever going to hear the words "Mom, I love you"??  Some days I feel hopeful.  At the current moment, I'm discouraged.  There are no words to describe what I feel like, at 35, no children of my own.  I feel like I've failed at something.  Or is something trying to tell me I'm just not good enough to be a parent?  All too often those thoughts cruise through my mind.  They swarm around my heart, consume me... bring me down.  Destroy me.  Why me?  What have I done to deserve this battle?  Why can't we catch a break?  Am I ever going to be a Mom?