As each year ends, and a new year begins, the same thought always crosses my mind...
Will this be our year?
I have no idea if it will be or not. All I know is it's Jan 2015... and I really hope, pray and hope some more than we can achieve some goals this year to have a family of our own. I'm 35 years old. I love what I do for a career, I love my husband and our life. I feel so empty inside!
Am I going to be 40 years old, with no child of my own? Am I ever going to hear the words "Mom, I love you"?? Some days I feel hopeful. At the current moment, I'm discouraged. There are no words to describe what I feel like, at 35, no children of my own. I feel like I've failed at something. Or is something trying to tell me I'm just not good enough to be a parent? All too often those thoughts cruise through my mind. They swarm around my heart, consume me... bring me down. Destroy me. Why me? What have I done to deserve this battle? Why can't we catch a break? Am I ever going to be a Mom?